Vendredi 2 février 2007 à 10:57

    J'ai perdu mes mots un soir d'hiver. Il neigeait mais je voulais que ce soit des fleurs de cerisier qui tombent du ciel, les yeux écarquillés de ne pas voir d'étoiles, le corps gelé de rester debout devant la fenêtre. C'est ainsi que je suis tombée malade ; mes mots m'ont quittée petit à petit, sans un bruit, aussi feutrés que les pattes d'un chat sur l'épais manteau blanc. Il ne m'en restait que des traces, le souvenir qu'un jour j'avais su.
    L'hiver s'étale et dégouline du ciel sale. Je me plante toujours à la fenêtre, à regarder le gel faire scintiller les branches noires du cerisier. La fièvre ne m'a pas encore quittée, elle, et parfois, il me semble que mes mots se sont faits flocons pour voler élégamment dans le ciel. Ils sont si beaux, si libres, comme si ils n'avaient jamais été miens. Oh, ce que j'aimerais que ce soit le printemps... Mais il me semble parfois que je ne le verrais jamais. Il ne me reste que mes pensées vagues, incertaines, et mes mots qui tournoient dehors, hors de moi, ailleurs...
    Je les reconnais tous : les flocons les plus légers, les plus grâcieux, ce sont mes mots d'amour ; les frivoles qui volent en tout sens, ce sont mes mots de bonheur ; il y a aussi les lourds, qui chutent comme des pierres, ceux-là sont pour la haine et la colère ; et puis, il y a les tous petits, ceux que l'on voit à peine, mais qui se désposent sur les manteaux, les cheveux et s'accrochent aux cils, ceux-là, ce sont mes larmes...
    L'hiver finira peut-être un jour, alors mes mots fondront, et il me faudra tout réinventer...

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